Wednesday, March 05, 2014

Lenten Lillies

I repose my soul
In Lenten quiet
Englobed, expectant
Deep in dark earth
Innumerable hopes
Kept close in my heart
Cool, moist, still
Chill as young spring
Contained, reflecting
I wait, I want, I wait...
Slowly spreading roots
Fine as filigree
Nascent pathways
Outstretched fingers
Feeling through loam
Around, toward, into
Fresh reserves drawn in
To arms outstretched
Reaching upward
Pressing out against
All that closes in
All that holds me still
Breaking through the shell
Breath held until...
My soul bursts forth again
Into sunlight, new as morning,
Bright as dawn-bloomed lilies. 

Saturday, February 22, 2014

Some Dreams

Some dreams, the only thing worse
Than having them is the waking up
Sitting in golden sunlight amid
The rocks and rubble of broken slab
Looking out from the levee across
The river, gray and glinting and
Rustling in a warm, soft breeze
Looking up into his eyes, blue blue
Blue and deep and so close close
Catching my breath feeling his on
My cheek and his lips so close close
Close to mine and his warmth golden
Like the sun and soft like the breeze
In that moment of eternity before
That one first kiss, there's only
Ever only one first kiss and this
This was going to be ours until
I woke alone and cold in the dark.

Monday, July 15, 2013

Summer Moon

Moon, pale gold like early summer
Whispering, "Autumn..." in my ear
Murmuring weariness in rain-laced wind
Drooping, half asleep, worn thin
Nights of watching, exhausted by
Just the sight of sun
Brilliant, always, as youth
As fire-glinting joy
Ebullience without end
Leaving only listlessness
Worn out ennui in its wake
Cover with cloud your dazzled eye
And dream... 
                    ...While I
Weave words among the summer grass
Tall and wet and rustling
Thoughts like fingers following
Field mice as they whisk away
Slipping from my hands like hope
slipping from my mind like truth
Slipping from my heart like youth
Quick, cup the falling leaves
To catch and hold elusive wisps
Spilling over the ragged edge
Leaking through the smallest crack
Quick, before it slips away
A pen, a page...
                ...Anything at hand
A parched and brittle reed
Snap the point to sharpness
Prick the vein
Write in blood upon the sky
Hopes that were and are no more
Unwritten, they'll have never been
Just dry corn jostled, trampled
Lost amid the harvest
Fallen onto stony ground
Scooped up by flocks of hungry stars
Bursting from the parting clouds
Words scattered, gobbled up
And gone, gone with the faded moon
That murmured autumn in the summer heat...

Put the pen down, dreamer
You cannot write on sky.

Tuesday, May 21, 2013

Birdfoot Chamber Music Festival 2013 - A Musical Feast at Madewood Plantation House


On Sunday, May 19, the Birdfoot Chamber Music Festival began its second year of festivities with A Musical Feast at the Madewood Plantation House.  Open rehearsals in the afternoon and early evening hors d'oeuvres with wine were followed by a concert of selections from works to be performed throughout this week. The evening culminated in a delicious dinner by Chef Stephen Stryjewski of Cochon, where guests mingled with and met the brilliant young musicians that have come from all over the world to share their talents with us.

The beautifully preserved and restored plantation homes of the American South enshrine a cultural history as rich and fascinating as it is difficult and deeply vexed, but the intense intimacy of chamber music as a genre is amplified by the antebellum grace of Madewood.  These are the chambers this music seems made for, and hearing it here is completely unlike any other music listening experience. High, shimmering notes sparkle in the crystal chandelier. Lush middle tones unfurl along scrolls and leaves of plaster molding.  The deepest notes billow and undulate in lace curtains draped against dusk-dimmed windows. Damasked wall paper, gilt frames, dark woods, and pale marbles all capture and resonate with the tapestry of sound, both broad and intricate, miraculously spun from empty air and woven into magic by a only handful of mortals with nothing more than wood, hair, ivory, steel, the skill of their bodies, and the passion in their souls.

But this is not the insulated opulence of wealth and rank, separated in a bubble from the vibrant, chaotic world outside. The stark, neoclassical lines of tall keyhole doors in this correctly symmetrical rectangle of a room reverberate with strange, unearthly harmonics and overtones, softened by the faint murmur of breeze through oak and Spanish moss. Flame-colored roses and carnivorous pitcher plants adorn each table, amid china, silver, and wine-filled glasses. And as the most ethereal music floats up to the ceiling, it drifts into the lost, lazy wanderings of a mud dauber wasp, buzzing drowsily from window to window. Everything here conspires draw together a civilized refinement and a wild swamp savagery into a union so unique to Louisiana, and so appropriate to this festival.

After all, at its essence, the Birdfoot Chamber Music Festival is not about keeping chamber music in the chambers of the elite. If A Musical Feast at Madewood evokes and brings to life an iconic and historical view of chamber music as performance for the privileged few in a luxurious setting, this week the Birdfoot artists and organizers will surely explode that stereotype in a variety of venues, from community center to university concert hall, and by mentoring and featuring many of New Orleans’ own young musicians. They will release chamber music from an insulated, FabergĂ© elegance, allowing it to fan out and flow like the Mississippi delta that gives the festival its name, to live and breathe in our often delightfully unrefined city, and to take root and grow in the minds and souls of a broader, brand new audience.

Do NOT miss this.

Sunday, March 24, 2013

Gull Wings Gray



Gull wings gray
And gleaming white
As mist on foam
At silver-shadowed dawn,
The vast and hollow roar
Of immensity brought near
Rolling into shore
In a crashing tumble,
Salt and sand and spray
Cut clean through
By an aching cry,
Taunting, flaunting,
Arrogant above,
Aloft on knife-edge wings,
"Mine, all this is mine
And I belong
And every day I glide,
Riding the horizon line
Between serenity and storm,
Peace and passion,
Water and wind.
In a sudden swoop
I shatter the divide
Separating sea and sky,
Then, leaping into air again,
I am mastered and I am
Master of them all
And here I am complete."

Tuesday, February 05, 2013

Otto - Eight Great Years


The year 2005 was not a good year.  That was the year I made the decision to separate from my husband.  Our divorce was finalized two days before Katrina made landfall in New Orleans (I still lived in Houston, but the storm did not go unnoticed there).  So it stands to reason that Valentine's Day, 2005, would not have been a good day.  And in many ways, I'm sure it wasn't.  I don't really remember. But something good did happen that day.  That was the day that, knowing I would soon be on my own, I took myself down to CarMax in pursuit of a car of my own.

I knew that the CarMax I was heading to had a Honda Civic that was dark green, just like the Accord I'd wrecked the year before.  I loved that car, and was hoping for something as close to it as possible.  I test drove the green one, but something just didn't feel right. I had a second and third option picked out from the website, so I asked to drive the white one next.  The white Civic felt GREAT, and I decided, since there's no going back, it was time to move forward.  I put half down and drove my new car off the lot.  In that first week, I fell in love, so much so that I decided for the first time that my car needed a name.  In that instant, the name that came to me was Otto.  I swear it's because I'd been reading Willa Cather for grad school, and there were characters in the stories named Otto.  I didn't see the pun until half a minute later, and I laughed out loud, sitting there in my car in the dark, on Sunset Blvd. near Ashby.  That pretty much settled it.

I moved out.  I lived in some friends' spare bedroom. I moved into my own apartment, in the same complex as my first very own apartment, back sophomore year in college.  I went to work. I went to grad school. And Otto got me where I was going.  The first months weren't all smooth road, though.  In exchange for a ride up to Caddo Lake after the semester was over, a friend offered to let me stay at his family's lake house for a few days. The sun on the cypress trees and the smooth lake water covered by lilies, the quiet magic of Caddo, was just what I needed, wound tight by end of term finals and my own personal demons.  After a couple of days, I felt myself again, and more at peace.  And it's a good thing.

We'd been out on the Cypress River on the boat, up to Jefferson, TX for chicken fried steak. When we got back, the winch to raise the boat out of the water wasn't working. We had noticed smoke on the shore, and now we realized it was coming from very near the house. We hurried up the slope to find that a tree limb had fallen into the driveway, taking out the power to the house.  The live lines had set a retaining wall for the parking area smoldering, and the upper limbs of the branch had engulfed... my car.


Otto meets a tree! - Near Caddo Lake


Really, we got off easy, Otto and I.  If I'd parked six feet closer, the main bole of the limb would have landed directly on the roof of my car, causing major damage.  The large dents and scrapes caused by the smaller limbs required quite bit of body work, and explaining to the insurance company how a tree limb fell onto my car on a clear day of calm weather was pretty amusing (the agent thought my speculation that it might have been a squirrel frat party was hilarious).  Still, there was no damage to the frame or structure of the car, and the body shop fixed my Otto up just like new.

Later that year, we got a chance to really bond.  Katrina was a horrible, horrible disaster, so when Rita threatened to head to Houston, way more of us than really needed to hit the road out of town.  My mom was between houses and my sister was in her freshman year up at Texas A&M, so I headed north to Bryan, where my godparents live.  Or I tried to.  I threw a box of Poptarts and three 2 liter bottles filled with water into Otto and hit the road early in the morning.  Over the next seventeen hours, I ran the air conditioner as little as possible.  I ran out of power in my cell phone. I went crazy quietly in my car. I heard someone else go crazy loudly in a car up ahead of me. I became entangled in a Keystone Cop style farce trying to evict a tree cricket from my back seat while traffic was stopped, only to have to suspend my efforts when traffic began to move again.

I reached Plantersville, TX at midnight, and there everyone else when either right or left, and I took the road less traveled, and went straight.  Thirty minutes later (after a final, successful stop to get rid of George the tree cricket), I was finally in Bryan at my godparents' house. And after a full day of idling and about a hundred miles of travel, Otto still had a quarter of a tank of gas left.

That was our first year.  We've been all over Texas together, from Houston to Big Bend.  In 2009, Otto came with me to New Orleans.  He got his brake tag and a plate with a pelican on it. We've had our break downs here and there, but he still gets 34 miles per gallon on a good day, and no less than 28 on a bad.  I've kept him well maintained, and he's been something I could count on while I went through so many other changes.


Otto takes me home - Near Medina Lake


It had been in my head last year that I might buy a new car in the next couple of years.  Well, a used car, new to me, at least.  When some friends mentioned they would be selling their 2006 Prius, I had to start doing some hard thinking.  When they made me an absolutely fabulous deal on it, the decision pretty much made itself.  I was getting a new car.  And I would need to find a new home for Otto, knowing that any trade in offer I got would probably be auction block prices, and he might just be sold for scrap.  I didn't want that.  Call me sentimental, but my Otto is still a damn good little car, with 70K miles left, easy. That's a good five or six years, give or take, with continued maintenance.


Otto on our last trip - Near Big Bend National Park


I have a friend who didn't have a car, and took public transportation or had to bum rides or walk wherever she went.  I could only see this as an opportunity to get a little return to put towards the new car, and give someone else, at a great price, what Otto has been for me since the day I bought him: independence, safety, and freedom.  My friend was more than happy to buy my little car.  Yesterday, ten days short of what I've always considered his birthday, Otto got a new home.  Today he is titled and registered under someone else's name, with brand new plates and everything.

I'm liking my new car a lot, but it doesn't have a name yet, and I'm not sure it ever will.  I don't know if any car will ever mean to me what Otto has.  We've been through too much, during the hardest time of my life.  But I know this was a good... no... a GREAT decision, because now I know that this great little car has gone on to mean just as much to someone else.

Tuesday, August 28, 2012

Isaac ~ It begins


The wind gusts get stronger and stronger, and there is a constant patter of rain.  Sharp through these sounds, I hear a frog croak emphatically from the courtyard next door.  It's such a vast, turbulent world in my eyes, and I am a giant to this frog.  I hope he shelters safe in his little nest, and I shelter safe in mine. Today has been tense.  Fitful showers and fickle breezes under a gray sky all day.  The first rain shower began just as I left Matassa's, where I was picking up some last minute supplies.  That was about 8:05am.  The air was hot and sullen and the rain sporadic and light most of the day.  It seems now like it has decided to storm in earnest, but for now I do still have power.

I keep thinking of baskets with too many eggs.  Like the two window panes beside my bed, above the back door.  My drawing board is now wedged flush against the wall, between those panes and my night stand.  Like the shutters that I had to wedge shut and couldn't latch because I couldn't open the window from the inside.  They're now tied tightly with an octuple thickness of twine, in addition to being wedged.  The walls tremble now in the stronger gusts, but I remind myself that this house and its neighbors have been around for worse storms, and are still standing.  We're going to be fine.

I wanted to get some sleep in before the worst began, but I'm just too keyed up.  I listened to the radio for a while, trying to get some info on what to expect, but it just made me irrationally nervous, so I turned it off.  I've started a jigsaw puzzle.  I have my Nook fully charged, and a full library to read by candle light.  I may nap on the couch for a while, too.  I some extra hours worked and had a relatively calm evening, with all my preparations made.  I'm as ready as I'm going to be.

I believe I'll post this now, while I still have internet.  I'm sure I'll have more to report down the line. I expect to be up most of the night, and completely drained by the time we next see the sun.  Better rest as much as I can while I can!