Monday, April 03, 2006


It's really strange, sometimes, the things we're scared of, and the things we *aren't*! Me, for example . . .

Heights wig me out. I remember getting giddy climbing a 6 ft. stepladder when I was six to crown the statue of the Holy Virgin in church during a feast day/my first Holy Communion. We have pictures of my dad clutching my arm, and I remember that being the only reason I agreed to climb that ladder. I have nightmares about steep staircases with no handrails, and suspended ladders that end 50 ft. from the ground, and falling elevators.

Snakes, on the other hand, I have absolutely no problem with. Even the poisonous ones don't scare me. I know the Texas species by sight and have a healthy respect for them, but I'll pet and hold non-venomous snakes when I have the opportunity. Same goes for lizards and such. I think they're cute!

Fire . . . okay, this is a big one. Was in a burning house when I was little one time. No one got hurt, everyone got out okay, but I still get reeeeally nervous holding just a little bitty candle during the Easter vigil mass. The rest of the choir laughs at me :-). I'm starting to train myself to trust a lit candle in my apartment, and that's going well, but fire . . . still . . . scary.

Spiders, not a problem. While I don't just luuurve them, and again, I have a healthy respect for the poisonous types, the little guys are welcome to hang out around my pad and eat tiny bugs as needed. Anything that might potentially eat mosquitoes is on my buddy list. I even love bats!

Wasps, though, while they can't kill ya (allergies aside) freak me out. Flying stinging things in general freak me out. I blame my dad for this one. When you idolize your tough-guy father, and he's scared of wasps, I think it tends to rub off. Of course, the root of his complex was starting a truck that had been sitting out on the deer lease, and disturbing the swarm of yellow jackets that had moved in. Hundreds of the evil little buggers pouring in through the air vents would probably give anyone a complex.

All this I've known about myself. But I've just discovered a new weird non-fear of mine. One of my good friends posted on her blog about a tornado that took shingles off her apartment building, and my first reaction was "Oh COOL! Did you get to see anything?" I knew I loved storms with lots of wind and rain and lightning, and I've done stupid things like stand out on the front steps of Autry Court watching the sky when the campos were coming by telling people to go inside because funnel clouds had been spotted. There's just something about an ominously green or yellow cloudy sky and the eerie stillness that fascinates me. Something about the sublime power of nature in her more terrifying moods.

Or maybe I'm just insane, huh?

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